As if he wasn’t under enough pressure following in the footsteps of future Hall of Famer and perennial iron man Brett Favre, Aaron Rodgers future was dealt a serious blow this week when he was diagnosed with type V osteogenesis imperfecta or “glass bones syndrome.” The announcement came on the threshold of Rodgers’ first season as the prospective starting quarterback for the Green Bay Packers.
When asked if the diagnosis was a roadblock to his career, Rodgers said, “I’ll be OK, I’ve talked to the trainers and we are working on it. I will wear a special shock absorbing water filled suit under my jersey and really focus on staying on my toes. If that doesn’t work, hey, playing without bones is just another obstacle to overcome.”
When asked about the situation, Mike McCarthy said, “I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, Aaron Rodgers is our starting quarterback, the news today doesn’t change anything. He will be our starting quarterback until he has to be squeegeed off the field.”
According to Dr. Diane Gagne, specialist in osteo pathology at Gunderson Lutheran Hospital in LaCrosse, that day may come sooner than later. “Osteogenesis imperfecta is disease in which the patient does not create enough collagen for healthy bone structure. There are varying levels of the disease and in Aaron’s case, type V results in brittle bones, fusing of the radius and ulna, and early hearing loss. Another complication is dentigenesis imperfecta which causes brittleness in the teeth. The good news is, with post-puberty onset, Aaron is not afflicted with the short stature that many people who have the disease experience. Of course that would make it quite difficult to succeed as an NFL quarterback.”
When asked how he found out about his problem, Rodgers said. “It was actually the dentigenesis imperfecta. I had all the guys over at my place last Wednesday night and was biting into a Twinkie and my two front teeth just shattered. I turned to Donald Driver and said, ’now that ain’t right.’ except I sounded funny because of the teeth so I did some hand gestures so he would know what I was trying to say…me and Drive have been together awhile, we are on the same page…so he called the doctor for me. All I have to say is it’s a good thing I wasn’t eating Corn Nuts.”
In a press conference held Friday, Packers General Manager Ted Thompson said the team was actively pursuing measures that would ensure Rodgers ability to play the game at the high level they have come to expect from their starter in waiting. “We are currently putting together a proposal to take to the League that grants a special exemption for Rodgers because of his condition. I am not at liberty to give the details but the central measure would require opposing defensive linemen and blitzers to pull a flag off Aaron’s waist instead of tackling him. The flag would be attached with Velcro and could then easily be replaced before the next play. We have also been working with Miracle Ear to develop a special aided in-helmet microphone that will ensure that Aaron properly hears the calls.”
When asked about rumors that the Packers were also asking for the league to allow Rodgers to throw a tennis ball instead of a football because of the problem with the fusing of the two bones in the forearm, Thompson only said “Well, it makes it tough to throw a spiral, but I can’t comment on that, we’ll just let the League decide. Right now we’re just dealing with the things that we have control over like teaching linemen not to slap him on the butt, eliminating high fives - or any fives really- when he completes a pass, and we have definitely spoken to Donald about the serious danger a fireman’s carry could pose at this time.”
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